How to Turn Dating Into a Relationship: Guide for Guys
Do you often find it weird to define a relationship when you are already going out as a couple? When does dating turn into a relationship? How do you confess your feelings without seeming old-fashioned and cliche? Who has to make the first move and propose going steady, you or your girlfriend? What are the current dating trends and what's the difference between dating and being in a stable relationship?
Is there a difference between dating and a relationship?
Many people quarrel while saying that going out is already a relationship. But let us propose some minor corrections. Suppose you are dating, meaning that each party is willing to spend most of their free time with each other. But how is that different from a relationship?
The main difference between a relationship and dating is exclusivity. While dating can mean seeing multiple people simultaneously to still understand who is the right partner, the relationship is an exclusive tradition. Supposedly, it is not publicly accepted to see other people as it may be considered cheating (excluding those situations where both are in an agreed polygamous or polyamorous relationship.) Moreover, a relationship presupposes more rights and, consequently, responsibilities.
While two people are dating, they don't owe each other anything while a relationship means it may be uncomfortable to forget someone's birthday or reject a request to sit with someone's dog. Additionally, people in a stable connection often get acquainted with the immediate circle, which is not very indicative of a dating period.
How long you should date before being in a relationship?
At what point does dating become a relationship? How do you understand when it’s time to finally define a connection and suggest going steady? Do you even discuss those things or omit them to avoid being awkward?
There is no definite answer as to when does dating turns into a relationship. You may think "gee, thanks, that was a crappy answer." Well, since everyone is different, there is no moral code, neither there is an official regulation about dating.
On average, the transition between dating and a relationship lasts for two months. This time is enough to understand whether the said person shares your core values, respects you, and looks forward to spending more time with you. This time is also enough for a little crash test because, during a two-month course, there should be some sketchy situations where you might understand how the said person handles conflict.
Other statistics say that it usually takes not more than five to six dates to understand if you are comfortable with a person alone and want to see them as your girlfriend/boyfriend. When dating turns into a relationship, all trepidations regarding this person usually wither away, so you feel comfortable and calm enough to continue seeing each other in a more intimate setting.
Turning dating into a relationship: tips for men
"Are we dating or in a relationship?" is the most frequent question for those who are too awkward to ask openly. Although you shouldn't be afraid of such a basic question because a stable relationship presupposes that you do not have anything to be ashamed of, it is completely normal to hesitate. Here is how you understand dating vs. relationship and guide your partner-to-be to a stable relationship:
Rule number one: exclude any third parties
Since a stable connection presupposes that both parties are in a consensual exclusive relationship, you have to understand whether it is comfortable to see only this person. If you still have an urge to date more people, flirt with more beautiful women , then you are not in love yet. Consider this major step only if you are assured that you want only this woman, no one else.
Rule number two: ask some more questions
A stable relationship begins when both parties have dropped their fake persona while revealing the bitter truth. But since you are in love due to chemistry, it might be difficult to see some downsides to a potential relationship. It doesn't mean that you have to seek them deliberately. Start with asking more important questions that will make you understand whether a connection is worth your time.
Rule number three: go on more dates
Because dating often means seeing each other more than once a week, you have to understand how comfortable is it to spend most of your free time with your soon-to-be better half.
Rule number three: get to know her immediate circle
Your transition into a relationship can be defined by wanting to know all of her friends and family. And even if you are not ready to consider this important step yet, evaluate how much you like stories about her friends without meeting them yet.
Rule number four: sex doesn’t define your transition into a couple
Some people think that sleeping with a person may define turning dating into a relationship. However, most men find it completely okay to sleep with someone outside a stable relationship. Most women think the same. However, it is recommended that you try out every aspect of this person before transitioning into commitment.
Rule number five: financial side matters
If you think that talking about money at the beginning stage of your relationship is tone-deaf, then you haven’t been in a relationship. There is nothing bad in knowing what a person does for a living and measure that info up to your standards.
Rule number six: no more exes
If you want to transition into a relationship, consider all of your exes dead for now. You have to drop the idea of maintaining contact with third parties to properly build a new life. Your exes need to be out of the picture. No phone calls, no involvement. Just give yourself a chance to have a new life.
Rule number seven: talk openly
Discuss the possibility of having a loyal relationship. Define loyalty and desire qualities a person should have. You might find out that a girl is non-commital and doesn’t want a relationship at all.
Rule number eight: get more clues
The more info you know about a girl, the easier it will be to bond and the less time you will need during the adjustment period. If a girl is secretive, it means she is shy and not ready to open. If you want to build a relationship, it’s best to get past that awkward stage.
Rule number nine: ask your friends
Ask your friends and relatives – are you ready to commit ? Do they see you as a couple, or do they see you as a long-term fling? People from the inner circle tend to see chemistry better. Your family will be a good indicator of compassion because they knew you since childhood.
Rule number ten: ask her openly!
If you have been going out religiously for the past month, how to turn dating into a relationship? Just ask the girl! If you think that this is awkward and an unnecessary question, imagine how she feels! Realize that no one is winning from the period of unknown suspension.
When turning dating into a relationship know that it’s natural to hesitate. Try to stay honest and remember the saying, “What if the dream doesn’t come true? Oh, but what if it does!”