How to Date a Single Mom: 30 Useful Tips
You met a beautiful woman and she reciprocated you. Everything is fine and you feel happy. But then, the news sounds – she has a child. And if you want to interest a single mother, you must understand that the usual methods don’t work here. So, what you should know about dating such girls and how to do everything right?
Get rid of the paranoia that she wants to make you a father of her kids
Most men mistakenly believe that all single women dream of finding a man for themselves and a father for their baby. Of course, there are such women, but their percentage is extremely small. And you can easily recognize them at the first meeting.
Her children will always come first
You must understand that a baby is a priority for a mother. Moreover, many girls have no one to help with their children. Therefore, accept the fact that you are not the main person in her life.
Appreciate her time
Children take a lot of physical and mental strength, so in rare moments without them, mom wants to take a nap, watch a new movie, or do something else just as pleasant. But in reality, this time is more often devoted to cleaning, cooking, and other household chores. Therefore, a single mother values
her time the most and will not waste it on those who are not worth it.
Dating a single mom in her 40s, be patient when she is late due to the child’s illness, but always be on time yourself, otherwise, she will think that you are taking away her precious time from communicating with the child and solving problems.
Everything needs to be planned in advance
A date with a woman who has a child can’t end with violent sex all night long. A man needs to understand that children require maternal attention and affection, so she rarely belongs to herself. As a result, demanding increased attention to yourself and being offended in case of refusal will be extremely selfish on the part of a man.
Don’t think of her as emotionless
A single mother usually doesn’t have time for crying into a pillow and emotional distress because she is busy with children, home, and even work. Still, she is caring and kind inside.
Be honest with her
No need for pretentious speeches, a lot of compliments and flattery, speak the truth in all situations. Do you like this woman? Tell her directly! Are you afraid of your relations with her child? Share your fears. She will definitely advise exactly what may help you make friends with the child.
Earn her trust
Perhaps your girlfriend has already faced such situations when she was betrayed by men and now it is difficult for her to trust them. Therefore, you must be a reliable man for your woman, so as not to disappoint her once again.
Don’t envy her children
Single mothers are quite often proud of their children and talk a lot about them. Your dates can be interrupted by countless phone calls and text messages from them. Or your meetings may be focused only on her children. Therefore, if you are not ready for this, then it is better to break up.
Know your place
She made great sacrifices, experienced pain, and daily copes with a routine so that her children have everything they need for a comfortable life. If you date a busy single mom, don’t expect her to be at the forefront of those women who fulfill all your desires.
Learn to walk in a minefield
Dating a single mom with a toddler, you will have to control your every step at first. Be prepared that both the loving eyes of your woman and the jealous eyes of her kids are constantly looking at you.
Any falsehood, lie, insincerity, pretense, inappropriateness is not what this type of relationship needs to be built on. So, how to date a mom? Just be yourself as much as possible.
You must become the person who listens to her, supports, and worries about her. This doesn’t mean that you have to solve all of her problems. Most likely, she can do it herself. But offering support will help you build trust.
Don’t try to save her
A single mother is not an unhappy person who is just waiting for a prince to appear and save her from paying bills and screwing in light bulbs. So, pity, along with unwanted help, is inappropriate here. However, as in any other relationship.
Help her with social life
Children take a lot of time from their mothers. Therefore, they may be out of the loop of social life. So, you can always tell your woman something interesting.
Accept the fact that she doesn’t always look best
Single mothers don’t always look perfect on dates. If you really want to date her, ignore the minor flaws in her appearance.
Don’t have your head in the clouds
The sooner you come back from the clouds into harsh everyday life, the better. If you’ve talked openly enough about what each of you wants from a relationship, it’s time to move from words and romance to action. Get used to everyday life because you are already mature enough in mind and body.
Don’t expect her to let you get too close
When you date single moms, don’t expect that your loved one will immediately meet you at her doorstep. Moreover, she will not introduce you to her children right away. Once she was mistaken, so she approaches this issue extremely carefully now.
Don’t get mad if she takes a kid on a date
Of course, you would like to have sensual dates and preferably for the whole night. But the circumstance in the person of her child will have to be reckoned with. Sometimes she has no one to leave a child with or something else. So, just accept this.
You can’t get to know her kids right away
Any mother is very choosy about the circle of friends of her children. Therefore, your moment of meeting with her child may vary. This issue needs to be discussed in advance.
Prepare thoroughly for the first meeting with her children
A single mother will definitely not introduce a boyfriend to her children after the very first date. This requires a truly promising relationship, no matter how child-loving the new man is. The reason is simple: children quickly get used to the new “dad”, and if he disappears in a week or a month, they will be very upset.
Don’t be intrusive
If you have been introduced to her children, you don’t need to immediately demand active actions from them. It takes time for relations to form, so don’t insist on your society, always leave the child the right to choose – let them reach out to you.
Never punish her children
Dating a single mom, never interfere with the upbringing of her child, unless she herself asks for it. If you don’t like something about the child’s behavior, then talk to the girl about it. But never try to fix this problem yourself.
Don’t show your feelings in front of kids
Dating single mothers, it is better to avoid hugs and kisses in front of kids. It doesn’t matter if they are two years old or eight – children are very receptive and impressionable. They can quickly become attached to a man and start calling him dad. And if something goes wrong with your relationship with her mother, it can turn out to be stress and resentment for them.
Don’t discuss an ex-spouse and his relations with a child
Of course, such conversations can’t be avoided because a woman may tell you about her possible problems with her ex. But in such situations, just listen and don’t give advice that can later play against you.
You don’t need to be a father for her child
Some single mothers want a new partner to become a father to their children. But some just want to build harmonious relationships in which everyone will be happy. As your relationship develops, you need to discuss all the nuances.
Avoid the demands of having a child together
A woman who has been independently raising a baby is often not ready immediately for the birth of a new child. So, don’t insist.
Try to be friends with the baby’s father
Some men leave their family and a child doesn’t see his father at all, which is undoubtedly better for a “new dad”. But more responsible men continue to communicate with children after a breakup, and the moment will come when her ex and you will have to meet. It is important to remember that relations with the ex are maintained solely for the sake of children.
Realize your benefits
Men often marry, having absolutely no idea what their chosen ones will be like in family life! You have a unique opportunity to watch the “demo version” of the future family. You can clearly see what kind of mother she is, how responsible she is, whether your views on upbringing are similar, and how she reacts to difficulties. Take advantage of this!
Remember that your relationship means a lot
If you decide to try to replace the other parent, it is important to understand that you are a potential role model for a child. And this imposes certain responsibilities on you. In addition to the fact that you yourself become a role model, your relationship also becomes a kind of model for her children.